


Finding My Way

by spiritualmachines



Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Catharsis, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Male Slash, Narrative, New Beginning, One Shot, POV Third Person, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2019-05-26 06:46:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14995121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritualmachines/pseuds/spiritualmachines
Summary: Excerpt:This place right here—this is where I’m supposed to be.Prompt: Destination UnknownPhoto:Click





	Finding My Way

**Author's Note:**

> *This story is from Zac's POV.

Zac gazed out the window of the cab, watching the snow make an almost dreamlike descent from the sky. He felt much like he was in a dream himself, the last twenty-four hours seeming like they belonged in some happy-go-lucky movie instead of his life.

A year ago, he’d packed up his meager belongings, climbed into his truck, and started driving—his destination unknown. He had no idea where he would end up, but he knew it had to be better than staying where he was, stuck in the same bad habits and monotonous patterns that had dictated the last twenty-five years of his life. 

He’d been dragging his feet for years—knowing that he was wildly discontent, but not having the slightest clue how to change—and as a result, he allowed himself to get too comfortable. So day after day, he slaved away at his dead-end job at a local drilling company and returned home to his doting girlfriend. They made dinner together, watched TV, fooled around a bit in bed, and then went to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat.

All in all, it wasn’t a _bad_ life. After all, there were people out there who couldn’t afford the most basic human needs like food and shelter, and he had never been lacking in that respect. Plus, living with Audrey provided him with a constant source of companionship and affection.

But despite all of those things, he wasn’t _happy_. 

At first, he believed that his unhappiness was a passing phase, so he waited it out. But days turned into months, which soon morphed into years, and he found that he felt even more miserable as time wore on. He was bound to snap eventually, and one dreary February afternoon, he did just that. 

Leaving seemed so drastic and crazy at the time, but as he watched the New York scenery pass him by, he knew that he had made the right decision. He truly didn't have much, but he was finally taking the steps toward finding his own happiness, which was worth more to Zac than any material item money could buy. 

He worked at a coffee shop by day and played music by night. He had no grand delusions about making it big in the music business, but he felt at home onstage, and that’s all that mattered. In fact, he felt _more_ at home playing his songs to crowds of strangers in a foreign city than he’d felt going through the motions in his house back in Oklahoma. 

Did he feel guilty about moving away? Of course. Quitting his job and breaking things off with Audrey had been nothing short of a nightmare, and his conscience plagued him in the aftermath. But that nightmare he’d endured was nothing compared to the dream of pulling off to the side of the road in Brooklyn one day and realizing _This place right here—this is where I’m supposed to be._

As the taxi slowed to a stop in front of his building, Zac felt like he was still on cloud nine, riding high from the amazing date he had just been on. At an open mic event several months back, he’d met a fellow musician named Shane and they had immediately hit it off.

Becoming fast friends with Shane was yet another piece of solid proof that he had made the right decision. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that his friendship with Shane would turn into something more, but from the moment they first kissed, he made a promise to himself to keep trying new things and making new memories.

Since they had both recently gotten out of long-term relationships, they were taking things very slowly, but Zac was almost giddy at how well things were going. Not a single moment spent with Shane was dull or boring—but at the same time, he’d felt instantly at ease in the other man’s presence. He had never put much stock in the idea of fate before, but suddenly, he believed. Whether or not he was meant to be with Shane forever had yet to be seen, but he was certain that their paths had crossed for a reason. 

After paying and tipping his driver, he approached the front door, whistling a melody that had been stuck in his head the last several days. A package sitting out front caught his eye, and his excitement deepened as he bent down to pick it up.

Indeed, the box was addressed to him and he carried it inside happily, settling onto the couch to open it. The apartment was a one-bedroom, bathroom-practically-in-the-kitchen sort of deal, and probably wouldn’t even be considered a viable living space anywhere other than Brooklyn, but it worked for him.

With most of his expenses going toward rent and feeding himself, he didn’t have much to spend on furniture, let alone decorations. The apartment was furnished simply with a mattress in the bedroom and a couch in the living room. To most people, it might have seemed depressing, but to Zac it was home.

After tearing into the cardboard packaging, Zac’s smile slipped into a frown as his demons rushed back in to haunt him. He was horrified to find that it wasn’t a well-intended gift at all, but one given to him out of spite. There was no return address on the package, but he didn’t need a label to know exactly who had sent it.

Audrey.

In his lap sat an unappealing and depressing assortment of dead flowers, ripped-up cards from birthdays and anniversaries past, and melted chocolate and candy hearts that seemed to have been crushed to a pulp. He couldn’t be sure, but he was almost positive that she had allowed their cat to hack hairballs into the box as well.

Breathing out a sigh, he taped the box back up and dumped it into the trash. On a positive note, tomorrow was garbage day, so he wouldn’t have to keep it around for much longer. In the past, Zac may have allowed such a vile and vindictive gesture to get under his skin, but instead of letting the negativity take hold of him, he grabbed his guitar and began to play.

At first, he hummed and strummed softly without any real direction, but soon he felt the inspiration flowing through his veins, as thick and revitalizing as his blood. He didn’t even realize the song had been trapped inside of him until it came pouring out. 

_We talk slow to pace our fingers_  
Lips catch a taste that lingers  
We've both been down this road 

_It's lights-out, the picture's dim_  
With guards down, love slips in  
Vulnerable, and it shows 

_These days and these nights grow colder_  
Seasons change and we grow older, I know  
All I'm wanting is you, all I need is you  
If you want me like I want you  
Say you need me like I need you and stay  
I'm finding my way 

_Tongues tied by seatbelts and satellites_  
Keep me suspended all through the night  
Too far to reach, but we try 

_So I dream under spotlights shimmering_  
That I'm home in the love that is you and me  
And time flies by 

_These days and these nights grow colder_  
Seasons change and we grow older, I know  
All I'm wanting is you, all I need is you  
If you want me like I want you  
Say you need me like I need you and stay  
I'm finding my way 

As the last note rang out all around him in his cramped yet cozy apartment, something suddenly dawned on him with striking clarity:

He had not only moved away; he had truly moved _on._

Maybe Audrey would never understand why he’d felt the need to leave Tulsa, and maybe he was destined to receive unpleasant packages from her for many years to come… but Zac didn’t care. Hell, she could send him an annual parcel containing cat vomit and it wouldn’t matter at all. Because after years of feeling like he was slowly being buried alive, he was finally finding his way. And yeah, he would more than likely stumble and maybe even fall a time or two, but at least he was forging his own path forward instead of standing in the same stagnant place.

Zac didn’t know what the future held, but he knew what true happiness felt like. He even dared to think he knew what true _love_ felt like. And he knew what it meant to finally be home.


End file.
